How Much is Enough?

 “How Much is Enough?” the thought first occurred when Purvi and I were enjoying the sunset over the Powai lake. It was amongst one of the memorable evenings that we’ve spent in the seventeen years that we have known each other. The lake is less than 20 minutes from where we stay. Yet, in the many years, we never experienced the solitude and the bliss, which we did that evening. There was a sense of regret, even more when I realised that I couldn’t commit as to when next we would experience a similar evening. We are too busy – long working hours, an ever overflowing inbox, and unending work commitments; striving to maximize work done in the time available. It’s a story not too uncommon – something that most of us can relate to. But for once, the still waters of the lake, the mountain in the back drop and the splendor of the orange sunset, quieted the mind – as we asked each other the question, “How Much is Enough?”

Work is worship. Being ambitious, setting goals and working hard to achieve the goals is imperative. It provides a sense of direction and purpose to our professional life. It is only through work that we earn money, an essential and irreplaceable commodity.

The question here is about how much money is enough? For some, this question may not seem to be relevant at all, as they struggle to meet their everyday needs. I wondered if dad would have asked himself this question when he was of my age. Probably not, he could not afford to then. We’ve been better off; because in our upbringing, we were never deprived of the basic needs. Our children are more fortunate. It is no longer about the needs, it is about the wants.

The reality lies in the fact that a generation committed to saving has been replaced by one devoted to spending. Our basic needs now stretch beyond ‘roti, kapda aur makaan’ (food, clothing and shelter). Our wants have unending bounds – a splendid five bedroom apartment in South Bombay (SoBo) high rise overlooking the Arabian Sea, a BMW 740i, traveling club class …..and so on. We seem to have forgotten that there is a beautiful world out there, beyond what money can buy.

I decided to pursue the answer by discussing the subject with friends, family, teachers and business associates. Some of them answered in numbers, some in words, and some others had not consciously thought about the question.  For some, it wasn’t just about how much was enough for them, it was also about what their children would inherit. A friend asked me to watch the movie, ‘Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara’.  It wasn’t long before I realized that there is no (universal) answer to the question. The quest however brought to light some invaluable insights, I wish to share.

Parag, a dear friend (he designed the cover page for ‘My Notes’), a few years elder to me, has identified ‘milestones’ when he would need money. Like, when purchasing a new apartment, and then when children (Disha- 9 years and Rishi – 7 years) would want to pursue higher education, and then at the time of children’s wedding. More importantly, he realizes that he would have enough time to get to the milestones as they are well separated – there is no need for ‘rat-race’. He doesn’t hesitate to skip office or work from home when his mother, who lives just a few minutes away, comes to see them, or when children want to play with mom and dad. “If Disha and Rishi tell me that they want to play a game of monopoly with me and Nikita, I don’t refuse, until and unless I have something very important to do. I don’t think they would ask me this question a few years later when they would be on their own. Neither do I want to regret not having spent enough time with my parents, and learning from their experiences. These moments in life shall never return,” he explained.

A business owner and a close associate, who is almost dad’s age, felt that he has much more than what he deserves. For the first twenty years of his professional career he worked with a private firm. “If I was still working with them, I would be drawing a salary of about a lakh (hundred thousand) per month, and that would have been more than enough for my lifestyle. Success in business has bought me two apartments; I own a Skoda-Laura and a Toyota-Innova. I couldn’t have asked for more. I continue to work, because I want to support my employees and my vendors, who also depend on this business. Our company bears all the education expenses for our employees’ children. Our employees enjoy medical benefits.” He was not sure if his son, who just started college, would like to take the business forward. “It is for him to decide,” he remarked.

Another son, elsewhere, preferred to inherit cash. His father, a respected professor, worked hard all his life and made a fortune in the coaching classes business. He owned and operated about ten branches in Mumbai with 2500 students a year, at the higher secondary level. The son couldn’t (or may be didn’t want to?) manage the operations (he wasn’t qualified enough to teach.). Unwillingly, and possibly because of parental responsibilities (obligations?) the father sold his stake in business to his other partner, insisting on receiving all the money cash-down. He handed over everything to his son, so as not to be blamed later. He was told that it wasn’t enough. The teacher taught two generations, but couldn’t educate his own child.

I recall another discussion, with one of my favourite teacher of schooldays (also an owner of a coaching class). He narrated his story and taught me an invaluable and unforgettable lesson, “Jayesh, I came to Bombay with virtually nothing. I was teaching in a coaching class and stayed with my maternal uncle in his one-room chawl (a poor man’s studio apartment in Bombay). I had a dream then, that one day I will own a one-room chawl. I worked hard for it.” After a long pause (a sense of nostalgia) he continued, “This four bedroom apartment that you are now sitting in, the classes and all that I can afford to buy is a by-product of the hard-work. Money is only a by-product of good work.” My teacher reminded me of Lord Krishna’s sermon to Arjuna, on nishkama karma (performing one’s duty for its own sake without thinking about ‘what’s in it for me’), “Be intent on the action, not on the fruits of action”.

Some people said that they worked hard all their life, but never got what they deserved. “Life has not been fair to me,” they complained.  I am not sure if someone had guaranteed us a fair life.

My best friend worked hard and realized his father’s dream of building a world class cold storage facility. Their tagline, “We preserve your trust,” is a testimony of the many years of toil and commitment to good work. Many envied my friend and his work – it was all well, until the day when the cold storage went up in flames. All that was built was gone in a moment, the years of goodwill was lost. “What is lost is lost. God has endowed us with two hands to work and intelligence to think – and that is enough to achieve our goals”, his determination only strengthened after the accident. He had learned the secret to earning enough.

While reading the book ‘India Unbound’, by Gurcharan Das, I found myself relating to the author who at the age of fifty decided to give up the largesse of corporate life. He took an early retirement and relinquished a plum position in a multinational company to pursuit his interest for writing. He was partly guided by the Vedic philosophy which has defined four stages of human life. Brahmacharya, the first stage, is the life of a student or a celibate. Grihasta, the second stage is the life of the householder. The Grihasta earns his livelihood by whatever a vocation befitting his being a member of his group, raising children, supporting his own family, kith and kin besides the persons performing their duties in the other three Ashramas (stages). Vanaprasta, the third stage, indicates the departure from material possessions. The man no longer takes part in the commercial activities and the woman leaves the running of the household to her daughter-in-law. People in this ashram play the role of mentors. The final stage is Sanyasa or renunciation; the person leaves society to spend the remaining part of his or her life in meditation and the contemplation of God in solitude.

The (unfortunate) reality of modern day life is that no one is able to (or wants to?) move out of the Grihastaashram. I talked to some who have retired from service; they said that they wanted to continue to work so as to keep themselves busy. Likewise, there are doctors, lawyers and businessmen who continue to work throughout life. “I would prefer to die with my boots on,” said an uncle in his early seventies, “it’s not about money, it’s about keeping the mind occupied.” They are happy to do the same work, which they did all their life (because that’s what they know best). They moved into the twilight years of life, satisfied (occupied?) with their families and work. “But now when the time has come for them to slow down, they find that they have missed the boat and don’t have a ‘third thing’ to fall back upon,” writes Bhavin Jhankaria in his thoughtful article titled “What is Your ‘Third Thing’?” Our ‘third thing’ is our talent, our passion for something other than work. More often than not, the third thing is compromised in the (so called) ‘interest of work’ and postponed to some time later. We never realize when it is lost.

A family member advised me to read the anecdote, ‘How Much Land Does a Man Need’, by Leo Tolstoy. The answer is known to all, but the extraordinary thing is that few are willing to accept it,  “Six feet from the head to the heels is all that is needed”.

How much is enough? Purvi and I are searching for the answers hidden in these stories. Our needs are limited and so is life.

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