Mind & Body – Page 2 – Life is Beautiful

Decoding Happiness

The most important finding is that happiness does not really depend on objective conditions of either wealth, health or community, rather it depends on the correlation between objective conditions and subjective expectations, like, if you want a bullock cart and get a bullock cart, you’re content, if you want a brand new ferrari and get a second-hand fiat you feel deprived. – Yuval Noah Harari

Decoding Happiness is an organized summary of thoughts presented on the eternal human need of ‘Being Happy’, as presented by two of the best modern day minds through their books; “The Almanack of Naval Ravikant”, by Eric Jorgenson and “Sapiens” , by Yuval Noah Harari.

While Jorgensen’s book draws from a plethora of references and experiences of modern day life, Harari presents happiness in the context of the learnings and teachings of Buddha. What is remarkable to note is that while mankind has evolved from the era of Lord Buddha to one of Artificial Intelligence, the definition of happiness, and how to be happy remain unchanged.

What is Happiness?

Happiness is a state when nothing is missing – when there is an internal silence, when the mind shuts down and stops regretting the past or worrying about the future.

Happiness is ever evolving. Happiness is more about peace than it is about joy. Peace is happiness at rest, and happiness is peace in motion.

True happiness is independent of external conditions and of our inner feelings. Indeed the more significance we give to our feelings, the more we crave them, and the more we suffer. Buddha’s recommendation was to stop not only the pursuit of external achievements, but also the pursuit of inner feelings.

Envy is the enemy of happiness

According to Buddhism, the root of suffering is neither the feeling of pain nor of sadness nor even of meaninglessness. Rather the real root of suffering is this never-ending and pointless pursuit of ephermal feelings, which causes us to be in a constant state of tension, restlessness and dissatisfaction. Due to this pursuit the mind is never satisfied. Even when experiencing pleasure, it is not content, because it fears this feeling might soon disappear, and craves that this feeling should stay and intensify.

How Can Mankind Be Happy ?

Happiness requires presence. A lot of unhappiness comes from comparing things from the past to free present. Memory and identity are burdens from the past preventing us from living freely in the present.

Happiness is not measured by the same set of universal parameters for all. For some, it’s contentment and satisfaction. For others it could be having things that they want in life.
Happiness is there when you remove the sense of something missing in life. It’s the absence of desire for external things.

People are liberated from suffering not when they experience this or that fleeting pleasure, but rather when they understand the impermanent nature of all their feelings, and stop craving them. This is the aim of Buddhist meditation practices.

In meditation you’re supposed to closely observe your mind and body, witness the ceasing arising and passing of all your feelings, and realise how pointless it is to pursue them. When the pursuit stops, the mind becomes very relaxed, clear and satisfied.

Happiness, love, and passion aren’t things you find – they are choices you make.

Like fitness and nutrition, happiness is a personal choice that can be practiced by following your own set of rules and techniques that make you happy.

How To Live & Die – By Khushwant Singh

I’ve often thought about what it is that makes people happy—what one has to do in order to achieve happiness.

1- First and foremost is good health. If you do not enjoy good health, you can never be happy. Any ailment, however trivial, will deduct something from your happiness.

2- Second, a healthy bank balance. It need not run into crores, but it should be enough to provide for comforts, and there should be something to spare for recreation—eating out, going to the movies, travel and holidays in the hills or by the sea. Shortage of money can be demoralising. Living on credit or borrowing is demeaning and lowers one in one’s own eyes.

3- Third, your own home. Rented places can never give you the comfort or security of a home that is yours for keeps. If it has garden space, all the better. Plant your own trees and flowers, see them grow and blossom, and cultivate a sense of kinship with them.

4- Fourth, an understanding companion, be it your spouse or a girlfriend or a best friend. If you have too many misunderstandings, it robs you of your peace of mind. It is better to accept the differences than to be quarrelling all the time.

5- Fifth, stop envying those who have done better than you in life—risen higher, made more money, or earned more fame. Envy can be corroding; avoid comparing yourself with others.

6- Sixth, do not allow people to descend on you for gossip. By the time you get rid of them, you will feel exhausted and poisoned by their gossip-mongering.

7- Seventh, cultivate a hobby or two that will fulfill you—gardening, reading, writing, painting, playing or listening to music. Going to clubs or parties to get free drinks, or to meet celebrities, is a criminal waste of time. It’s important to concentrate on something that keeps you occupied meaningfully.

8- Eighth, every morning and evening devote 20 minutes to meditation or introspection. In the mornings, 10 minutes should be spent in keeping the mind absolutely still, and five listing the things you have to do that day. In the evenings, five minutes should be set aside to keep the mind still and 10 to go over the tasks you had intended to do.

9- Ninth, don’t lose your temper. Try not to be short-tempered, or vengeful. Even when a friend has been rude, just move on.

10- Above all, when the time comes to go, one should go like a Person without any regret or grievance against anyone.

Love, Sex And Marraige

This note titled “Love, Sex and Marriage”, is based on the all time classic book “Think and Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill, first published in 1937 . The book is a comprehensive guide to achieving goals, not just in terms of wealth, but in all aspects of life.

A section of the book talks about the emotions of Love, Sex and Marriage. His explaination of love is unparalleled. His articulation of the connect, between the emotions of Love, Romance and Sex are thought provoking. His views on the balances in a marriage are worth a read.

Back in time, when the book was penned, there were only a handful of successful and famous women in the society. Therefore the last part of the note is limited to his study of the lives of successful men. He emphasises upon the powerful influence of the women in a man’s life.

How much of the author’s views hold true in the modern day context is for every reader to decide, based on his or her own experiences.

Love

Love is without question, life’s greatest experience. Memories of love never pass.

“The effect of love endures, because love is spiritual in nature. Even the memories of love are sufficient to lift one to a higher plane of creative effort. Bathe your mind in the beautiful memories of past love. They will soften the influence of present worries, unpleasant realities of life.

Love is whimsical and temperamental. It’s nature is ephermal and transitory. It comes when it pleases, and goes away without warning. Accept and enjoy it while it remains, but spend no time worrying about its departure. Worry will never bring it back.

It’s untrue, that love happens only once. It may come and go many times. No two love experiences will affect in the same way, but there usually is one love experience, which leaves a deeper imprint on the heart.

All love experiences are beneficial, except to the person who becomes resentful and cynical when love makes it’s departure.”

The Emotions of Love, Romance and Sex

Love, Romance and Sex are all emotions capable of driving men and women to heights of super achievement.

“Love is spiritual, while sex is biological. Emotion of sex is most intense and powerful of all mind stimuli.

When the emotion of love begins to mix itself with the emotion of sex, the result is calmness of Purpose,poise, accuracy of judgment and balance.

When the emotion of romance is added to those of love and sex, the obstructions between the finite mind and Infinite Intelligence are removed. The genius is thus born.

The emotion of love, when mixed with the emotion of sex, softens, modifies, and beautifies the facial expression.”

The Balances in a Marriage

Marriages not blessed with eternal affinity of love, properly balanced and proportioned with sex, cannot be happy, and seldom endure.

“Love alone will not bring happiness in marraige, nor will sex alone. When these two beautiful emotions are blended, marraige may bring out a state of mind, closest to the spiritual that one may ever know.”

Who you choose to be with can turn out to be the most important decision of your life. In the modern day context, “fortunate are those whose partners understands the balance between the emotions of love, sex and romance. The making or breaking of any relationship is the consequence of your partner’s understanding or lack of understanding of the emotions of love, sex or romance. ”

Successful Men, & The Women in their Lives

Men are easily managed by the women of their choice

Napoleon Hill authored Think and Grow Rich in 1937. He presents a point of view, based on how things were then. He states that, “Men who accumulate large fortunes, and attain to heights of power and fame, do so, mainly to satisfy their desire to please women. Take women out of their lives, and great wealth would be useless to most men. It is the inherent desire of man to please woman, which gives woman the power to make of break him.“

The woman who understands man’s nature and tactfully caters to it, does not have to fear competition from other women.“

On Positive Thoughts

Nature has so built us, that they can have control over the thoughts which reach our sub conscious mind, through the five senses. The sub conscious mind is a fertile garden, in which if good seeds are not sown, weeds will grow. In the same way, the thoughts that we have repeatedly in the conscious mind, whether positive or destructive, will manifest, because of the power of sub conscious mind which is influenced by these thoughts. Whenever there is a negative thought, replace it with a more powerful positive thought, accompanied by a strong positive emotion. Faith and love are the two positive and strong emotions.

Excerpt from “Think and Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill

Talk to the Person in the Mirror

Life is not just about creating yourself. It is about finding your true self, each time you feel lost. It’s about learning to talk to the person in the mirror, and re-creating yourself every moment, through out this journey. Life is Beautiful. God Bless.

I Just Got Better At Heart

Looks like it’s time to break the news….I just got better at heart.

What started with a gastric pain and an additional effort in breathing, and a couple of spasms in the chest area, on the morning of 2nd September, and again on the evening of 3rd September, concluded with a CABG (Coronary Artery Bypass Graft) or simply a by-pass surgery on 11th September. “Strong family history,” was the reason attributed to my cardiac disease.

I was fortunate that in my case, we didn’t encounter any serious emergencies, and could prepare and plan for the surgery, without being under severe stress. The prayers, with extremely positive support from family and friends, along with good and timely medical advise, took me through the challenging phase pre and post surgery. All’s well now and the road to recovery continues to be good. I have been advised 6 weeks of rest, before I can get back to routine.

I am sharing this note, to summarize my personal experiences which some of you may find useful :

With the experience I had, I would strongly advise not to ignore any medical symptoms. Get yourself examined at a good and well equipped hospital, (this is extremely important) at the earliest. I went to the hospital only because my Doctor friend Mitesh Shah advised me to. What I presumed to be simply a gastric pain for two days (this is only one of the many symptoms, please read the others)- turned up as a slightly abnormal ECG, but an extremely positive blood test (Trop-i), which confirmed that something unusual had happened to the heart.

I emphasize the importance of a good and equipped hospital, because on the basis of my ECG, a smaller clinic or nursing home (I wonder if I could have got to one on Sunday night at 10 pm) would probably have let me go with some prescribed medication. At Dr L.H.Hiranandani hospital in Powai, I was provided with all the emergency treatment and was fortunate to examined by a cardiologist who happened to be in then. Once things were in control, we decided to get admitted later that night to the Jaslok Hospital, under Dad’s cardiologist, whom we have complete faith in. While getting to the hospital, please take due consideration of the nature of the emergency – unfortunately, our ambulances still don’t come in time, and may not be fully equipped. Timing is most critical.

Dad’s cardiologist performed the Angiography on 4th September. The outcome, 3 blocks – 60 to 70% in the Left Artery. At my age (40), and with reasonably good and stable health parameters, the cardiologist advised a by-pass surgery as the most superior treatment with long term benefits. He said, it was not an emergency and I could take a few days, weeks, if needed. Having complete faith in the ability, experience and treatment of the Doctor you choose for yourself, is the other important aspect. Because we did, (surely with a family discussion) it helped us in making the important decision easier and faster.

A week thereafter, on 11th September, my surgery was performed by the same surgeon who had performed Dad’s CABG in 2009. Only difference, was that the surgery was performed at Lilavati Hospital, based on the surgeon’s preference. The Doctors’ skills and treatment, the health care at the hospital, the post-surgical physiotherapy, in combination with the advances in medical technology made a positive difference. At this point, I wish to make a very special mention on the extreme care and attention, and the untiring effort, by the nurses in the ICU – they were the catalysts in the recovery process. I had set my goals (Vivek Savla’s lifetime lesson) and recovery milestones for the hospital stay, prior to being admitted for surgery – these manifested with the blessings of The Lord. I was discharged from the hospital on 17th September, and have been at home since then.

I have been extremely blessed and fortunate to be surrounded by positivity of the family and cheerfulness of my friends (lead by Sachin Chandak – Mr Nitrous Oxide) all around. An army of my Doctor friends (Dr Mitesh Shah, Dr Amit Shah, Dr Shrenik Shah, Dr. Rashmi Shah, Dr Urmi Gada) took charge whenever needed. And while there were times when there was anxiety and pain, being able to mediate then was a blessing that helped me remain positive. Above all, there was Purvi by my side all the time, making sure that I remain, calm, equanimous, and cheerful.

Life is Beautiful

Thank You All. God Bless.

P.S. – Many of you reading this note, would be shocked to hear about the event. Very few (including near and dear ones) knew about it, until post-surgery. In the last few days, we have been receiving calls from many well wishers. You can be reassured that I am doing fine, and will be back in action, in time, with renewed vigour, energy and enthusiasm. Until then, the medical protocols will need to be followed.

Cheers to Life

The Lord has departed – We couldn’t receive His blessings

We invited Lord Ganesha to our world and He was with us for 10 days. We said our prayers, religiously every morning and evening, we changed our busy routines and schedules. We set aside the mechanical rush of the modern world, just to be heard by the Lord. Today, Lord Ganesha has departed, but we couldn’t receive his blessing. The Lord spoke to us, but we couldn’t hear Him. We stood near him, but he couldn’t see us.

He didn’t hear us because we surrounded Him with deafening sounds; he didn’t see us because of the glaring lights. And even as we bid farewell to the Lord today, and said our last prayers with emotions of joy and sadness, we gave Him a grand send-off with loud live bands and high decibels from loudspeakers that played cheap bollywood movie songs.

We live in the “Age of noise”. Physical noise, mental noise and the noise of desire. We are surrounded by the ringing of telephones, the clatter of keyboards, loud TV volumes, and high decibel sounds from vehicles on the road. Particles of noise cling to our souls – and they can only be cleansed in the waters of silence.

The living saint, Dada J.P. Vaswani writes, “I like to think of still, profound silence as personal, intimate appointment with God. And for those who wish to walk the way of spirituality, silence is the first and simplest step of the path. Silence is not just the absence of sound; silence has its own being; it is with you, within you. Silence is the language of the soul. Silence is two-fold, there is outer silence which is freedom from noise and there is inner silence which is freedom from clamour and desires. Silence cleanses. Silence heals, Silence strengthens, Silence reveals.”

It’s time that we realize that Lord speaks to us through silence. It is only in the depths of silence can we hear His Divine voice – not in the clamour and noise of this world. The most essential ingredient in prayer is not words, but the silence of the communion.”

Lord Bless us with silence.

How to Write Your Goals

Watch Video Video on “How to Write Your Goals”

Set Goals. Make the positive difference to your life.

My name is Jayesh Tekchandaney, A Chemical Engineer by Qualification and Profession, A business owner by Occupation, Author, Speaker and Coach at Heart. My purpose in life is to touch, move, inspire and make a positive difference to people lives by sharing the good things and positivity that I have learned and been blessed with.

The one thing that has made a big difference to my life is the habit of Setting Goals. And today, I shall share with you, how to write your goals. Because writing your goals makes them real, it gives them a physical form, it provides you with direction and allows you to focus on what is important.

As an example, Let’s start with some of my goals My personal and professional goal is to write a book, related to my field of work. The way I would write my goal is… I have written a book on the subject of Industrial mixing. The book is published by John Wiley Publications by December 31, 2017.

As I mentioned earlier, my personal goal is to make a positive difference to people’s lives. For that, I would write my goal as I speak at conferences, seminars organisations, schools, and colleges inspiring people to set goals, and working for their achievement.

1. Make sure you write your goals as if your goal had already been achieved, e.g. I have written…., I speak. This is because the subconscious mind has to given a command in the present and made to believe that you are on the road to accomplishing your goals.

2. Write you goals in the personal tense. All of your goals should start with the word I. The I should be followed by an action verb.

I speak at conferences…

3. While writing goals, we need to set ourselves a deadline for achievement of the goal. In my case, it is the book being published by December 31, 2017. Setting a date, motivates us to block time, and take action towards achievement of our goals.

4. Also, Write your goals in the positive sense. For example, if your goal is to stop being lazy and begin to work hard, Instead of saying, I am not lazy, write, I am hardworking.

“Everything is Hard before it is easy,” said Goethe, the German philosopher. Setting Goals, writing them and seeing them manifest is easy when you choose to take action. I have been blessed and have experienced the joy of accomplishing many of my goals by following the goal setting process. My goal on the book being published is already achieved. And I continue to speak passionately about goal setting to those around me.

Remembering that I’ll be dead soon…

“Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything – all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose.”- Steve Jobs