Set Goals. Make the positive difference to your life.
My name is Jayesh Tekchandaney, A Chemical Engineer by Qualification and Profession, A business owner by Occupation, Author, Speaker and Coach at Heart. My purpose in life is to touch, move, inspire and make a positive difference to people lives by sharing the good things and positivity that I have learned and been blessed with.
The one thing that has made a big difference to my life is the habit of Setting Goals. And today, I shall share with you, how to write your goals. Because writing your goals makes them real, it gives them a physical form, it provides you with direction and allows you to focus on what is important.
As an example, Let’s start with some of my goals My personal and professional goal is to write a book, related to my field of work. The way I would write my goal is… I have written a book on the subject of Industrial mixing. The book is published by John Wiley Publications by December 31, 2017.
As I mentioned earlier, my personal goal is to make a positive difference to people’s lives. For that, I would write my goal as I speak at conferences, seminars organisations, schools, and colleges inspiring people to set goals, and working for their achievement.
1. Make sure you write your goals as if your goal had already been achieved, e.g. I have written…., I speak. This is because the subconscious mind has to given a command in the present and made to believe that you are on the road to accomplishing your goals.
2. Write you goals in the personal tense. All of your goals should start with the word I. The I should be followed by an action verb.
I speak at conferences…
3. While writing goals, we need to set ourselves a deadline for achievement of the goal. In my case, it is the book being published by December 31, 2017. Setting a date, motivates us to block time, and take action towards achievement of our goals.
4. Also, Write your goals in the positive sense. For example, if your goal is to stop being lazy and begin to work hard, Instead of saying, I am not lazy, write, I am hardworking.
“Everything is Hard before it is easy,” said Goethe, the German philosopher. Setting Goals, writing them and seeing them manifest is easy when you choose to take action. I have been blessed and have experienced the joy of accomplishing many of my goals by following the goal setting process. My goal on the book being published is already achieved. And I continue to speak passionately about goal setting to those around me.
Goals give a sense of meaning and purpose to our life. Goal setting, along with careful planning provides a sense of direction to keep us focused on what we want and to work towards its achievement.
Our life has many facets – all of these can be classified in 6 major areas; personal, professional, spiritual, physical and mental, family and social, financial. For a meaningful and successful life, we should set goals in all of these areas.
Goals to me are SMART dreams. By SMART, we me Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Time Bound. A goal has be specific, it has to be clearly defined. A goal has to be quantifiable – something that can be measured, it has to be achievable and attainable within a lifetime, it has to be realistic – something that can be experienced in reality. Above all, the goal is a dream with a deadline for achievement. It is time bound.
Written goals are the seedbeds of accomplishment. The important thing while setting goals is that you need to write them, because writing your goals forces you to crystallize and clarify your thinking. It is said that the human mind has more than 4,000 thoughts each days. Writing down the thoughts which matter, helps you focus on what is necessary and keeps you on course. Written goals form the basis of measuring progress. Written goals produce motivation. Written goals form the basis of an action plan. Above all, written goals stimulate visualization.
Often people set goals, but don’t achieve them. This is because they don’t take the action required to achieve to goals. The most important aspect of achieving your goals is taking action, with enthusiasm. Having set your goals, you need to create an action plan for their achievement.
Setting goals has changed my life and the lives of many around the world. It will change yours as well.
“Whatever you vividly imagine, ardently desire, sincerely believe, and enthusiastically act upon, must inevitably come to pass.” – Paul Meyer
Papa has been a caring father, an uncompromising mentor, a tough boss, and above all my strongest shield. My greatest learnings of life have been by observing him and his actions. If I had to describe Papa in three words, they would be perfectionist, hardworking, and intelligent.
Papa is a simple man, with little needs and no wants. He has a penchant for good things in life. A complete family person – with love for the parents, respect for elders, and affection the younger ones; super tough on the outside – very emotional from within.
A university gold medalist, Papa is amongst of the best mechanical design engineers, that one would ever come across. With his never-never-never give up attitude, a passion for excellence, patience, perseverance and an extremely creative engineering mindset, he earned the honor of working with the great scientist and former President of India, Dr A.P.J. Abdul Kalam for developments on the Indian missile technology. Papa has been at the forefront of our many prestigious executions for the Indian space program.
Well read, well informed, he carefully chooses words at all times, speaking with an aura, charisma, energy and passion. He has the remarkable ability to convince others with his calm and composed demeanour. It’s hard to win over him in a debate. At the same time, he is a keen observer, a good listener, a quick thinker, accepting the others point of view, whenever communicated with reason and logic. It’s very often that I have received compliments from our customers, professional associates, and friends about his pleasant and unforgettable personality.
Papa is a tough boss and an uncompromising mentor. It’s hard to get praise from him. It took a while for me to realize, that one has done good, when he does not ask questions, and, extra ordinarily well, if he says good. At work, the father-son relationship is limited to lunch time (though I do take some liberties every now and then).
To this day, Papa puts in more hours at work than I do. Inspite of the everyday long hours, and many a times working seven days a week, it’s rare to catch him with an expression of tiredness – you cannot make the difference if he is headed to work or returning back. And when he is back home each day, (by which the half of Mumbai is already preparing to sleep) he still has enough energy and patience in him to listen to the everyday experiences of Shourya and Maahir, and share with them many events and stories from his life.
It’s been 30 years, but seems just like yesterday, when Mom, Dad and me moved to Vasuki, on the fourth floor, flat no. A-10. A nice and cosy one bedroom apartment, in Ghatkopar’s one of the only three multi-storey buildings at that time. I was younger than Maahir is today. Debu, Manish and Sameer were my first friends. I can feel the goose bumps already, as I begin the walk down the memory lane.
Vasuki was a much more happening place then. The all night navratri celebrations were amongst the best in Ghatkopar. I fondly remember the annual sports day celebrations – boys and girls, uncles and aunties, all of whom were pumped up for the event. Back then in the 80’s, when buildings did not have a club house, our Vasuki boasted of a concrete tennis court, a volley ball arena, a table tennis facility and, a playground that all of Mumbai would envy about, and still does. In the days when the only TV channel was Doordarshan, and there was no IPL, we had our own table tennis tournaments and volley ball matches. Night games of volleyball and box cricket often ended only after the local police came over, with a compliant from some residents – Yes, we had our share of them too!!!
We moved into the B wing, in 1992. Back then, we enjoyed an uninterrupted view of the Mumbai airport runway – we could watch the airplane right from the moment it entered Mumbai air space, the touch down, right until the time that the aircraft came to a stop. The landscape around, has completely changed – though we are still fortunate to have plenty of greens, gardens and open spaces all over. It used to be very airy – the moment one entered into Vasuki. The atmosphere around still remains electric and vibrant, with students bee-ing all around the building, and kiddos playing all types of games inside the building, all day.
The Holi and Sharad Poonam celebrations, and the gathering of Republic Day and Independence Day have always been special, bringing together our one big Vasuki family.The Ganesha festival, Govinda handi and Sankrantri kite flying events have added to the spice of life.
As we move in to our new home today with lots of joy and excitement; it’s also with a heavy heart. It’s hard to move away from the family that’s been with you all your life. Vasuki has been our home for three generations, and has blessed us with a happy, peaceful and prosperous life. We are fortunate that Maahir and Shourya have spent their childhood in this wonderful neighborhood, in a culture of simplicity, oneness, and sharing.
Purvi and I will miss the Sunday morning walks, trips to Siddhi Vinayak with Raju Bhai, Hiren and Seema Bhabhi, Manoj, Rajesh; Mom will miss her morning meditation. I will miss seeing my morning walk inspiration – Vipul Bhai and Sonal Bhabhi.We will miss Ajit uncle’s enthusiasm and positivity, from his morning visits to our home; I will miss greeting Venugopal aunty good morning while opening the door to the milkman.We will miss Jayashree, who would be always happy to baby sit the kids when the family was not around. We will miss being with Annu and Geetu during their trips to India. I will miss the energy of Himanshu, the many conversations with Amar, Abhay, Chetan, Jignesh, Rohit, Bharat Bhai And Reena Bhabhi, Shashi, Tejas. We will miss the Bulani family, the Navani family, the Kothari family, the Gala family, the Parekh family, Gulab Uncle’s and Navin Uncle’s families, the Kutty and Venugopal family, the Monani family, the Joshi family, the Dawda family, the Sheshadari and Subrahmaniyam family, the Gogate family, the Acharya family, the Ved family, the Thakker family, the Hurbada family, the Athnekar family, the Betai family, the Agrawals, the Modi family, and our new next door neighbours, Mayur and Priya. Maahir will miss Smit, Saahil, Priyansh, Raj and Shourya will miss Krishna, Veesmay, Dharmik. We will miss our sweet little darlings, Arham, Jianshi and Krupa. We will miss Vasuki, and the little pleasures that came along each day that we have lived here; but for sure, will cherish these memories through our lives.
“Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything – all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose.”- Steve Jobs
We are the master of our destiny. We are responsible for our own happiness. This famous inspirational poem charges us to accept responsibility for our lives no matter our circumstances.
William Ernest Henley (1849-1903), an English Poet, had one of his legs amputated at the age of 17. The poem which he wrote while healing from the amputation is a testimony to his refusal to let his handicap disrupt his life. He led a meaningful life as a poet and editor until he passed away at age 53.
While imprisoned on Robben Island Prison, where he was incarcerated for 27 years, Nelson Mandela (who later served as President of South Africa, and won the Nobel Peace Prize) recited the poem to himself and other prisoners as a way to bolster their spirits, and motivate them to press onward. He felt empowered by the message of self mastery.
“Leaders are readers, and readers are leaders,” echoed Vivek (in 2006), when I told him that I don’t read.
Today, not reading a book each day, matters as much as drinking water or having food. I read constantly, I read in the car, bus, train or the airplane, I read when I am waiting to meet a customer, I read when waiting at the airport, I read when others are watching TV, I read on vacations and business tours, I read before I sleep, I read while having my morning cup of tea, devouring new books and revisiting some that I have read before.
My book shelves at home and office keep over flowing, with the books that I continue to accumulate from book stores, from train stations, from airports, and from road side vendors. It’s hard for me not to stop by and oogle at books when I am around these places. Buying a book is a temptation I find hard to resist.
I read autobiographies, and biographies because I love to be in the company of great men and women who have inspired generations. I read business and management books so that I can implement the best practices at work. I love to read psychology and human behaviour, because I value people and beleive in building strong relationships. I read religion and study spirituality, to understand. I read because I like to lose myself in the book. I read because there’s always something new to learn. I read because the world is changing faster than I can imagine. I read because it inspires me to write.
Living a complete and balanced life depends on making good use of the knowledge that we accumulate. We are constantly and subconsciously guided by the information we consume.It is because of reading books, that I have been able to set and achieve goals that have made a positive difference in the multi-facated wheel of my life. It is the habit of reading that has transformed me, my life, my thoughts, my personality, my work, my relationships, my beliefs, my values and my choices.
Above all, I read because I wish and pray that Maahir and Shourya will read. My books will be the greatest wealth that my children will inherit.
“There is but One God, The Supreme Truth; The Ultimate Reality, The Creator, Without fear, Without enemies, Timeless is His image, Without Birth, Self Created, By His grace revealed.”
Guru Nanak, the founder and the first Guru of the Sikh community taught people how they could live good, simple lives which would bring them closer to God. The following is the gist of Guru Nanak’s thoughts and teachings.
Teachings of Guru Nanak
God – God is the essence in all of Nanak’s teachings. Guru Nanak believed that there is only one God, and that God is without form; God is neither born and so cannot die; God is Truth, so to behave in an untruthful manner would be to go against God.
Religion – Guru Nanak believed that true religion is a way of life. He was against the rites and rituals. He believed that when we worship God, it is not necessary to deify pictures or statues, as God is without form.
Guru – Nanak stressed on the importance of the Guru in a common man’s life. The Guru would help the disciple to understand God and to love him; the disciple must obey the Guru and follow his teachings and instructions with complete and unquestioning faith.
Prayers – It is only through our good deeds and actions that we can come close to God. True prayers are good actions and good deeds to others.
Leading Life – Guru Nanak taught that it is essential for every man to perform the duties of a householder – earning a living, getting married, bringing up one’s children, taking care of the parents, contributing to the society. He believed that there was no real good in giving up the world and living an isolated life. Instead man must live in equanimity and purity amongst the impurities of the world. He summed up this way of life by saying that people should work honestly, pray sincerely and be charitable.
Equality of Humans – Nanak did not believe in the caste systems. The crux of his teaching is “Equality of Humans”, without distinction of religion or creed. Guru Nanak preached that all his followers must sit together, without consideration of their wealth, social status or their caste, and became one united sangat by praying together and taking part in kirtan. The langar, a free kitchen in which food is served to all those who come to seek the blessings of the Guru, is the most visible representation of equality of humans.
Guru Nanak said, “We must be firm in our faith, our hearts must be clean, we must not have any greed or pride. We must not be troubled by life or death. We must accept the will of God. We must be unselfish and kind to all.”
Written and Compiled by – Jayesh R. Tekchandaney, tekchandaney@gmail.com
Sources and Acknowledgements
“The Lives And Teachings of The Sikh Gurus”, by Harsh Dhillon
“If I have seen far, it is because I have stood on the shoulders of Giants”. God has been kind. I feel blessed to have been born in a wonderful and loving family; to have the best of education, and teachers who have touched moved and inspired; friends who have always stood by my side and encouraged; and colleagues who are supportive.
The one thing that has made a difference to my life, it is the habit of setting goals and an unwavering faith is Paul Meyer’s quote, “Whatever you vividly imagine, ardently desire sincerely believe and enthusiastically act up on must inevitably come to pass.”
“Whatever you vividly imagine, ardently desire sincerely believe and enthusiastically act up on must inevitably come to pass.”
Life was pretty much usual and routine, until one evening in the year 2006, when I met up with my childhood buddy, Vivek Savla. Vivek attended a program on Leadership and Management, and shared with me his learning. He asked me what my goals were. The first thing that came to my mind was about our manufacturing business, and I told him that my goal was to achieve a certain number in business, work hard, to be the best in the field. What else? he asked. I said I wanted to be happy, have a great life, have lots of money, take care of the family. He looked up to me and said, who doesn’t want that? That’s not a goal. That’s wishful thinking.
Honestly, I was lost, I really didn’t know nor did I understand what my goals were. Like me, many of us don’t realize the importance of goals. We don’t have goals because we don’t know how to set them. Often, it is the fear of failure that stops us from setting our goals.
Imagine watching a football game, with 2 teams and 22 players on the field playing the game – a football game with no goal posts. Imagine leading a life, where each day all that we do is get up in the morning, have breakfast, go to work, come home, watch television and go to sleep; wishing and hoping that tomorrow things will get better for us. But that seldom happens, and will not until we take control of our lives and our goals. It was that evening with Vivek, that I learned the greatest lesson of my life – “Set Goals”.
Goals give a sense of meaning and purpose to our life. Goal setting, along with careful planning provides a sense of direction to keep us focused on what we want and to work towards its achievement.
Our life has many facets – all of these can be classified in 6 major areas; personal, professional, spiritual, physical and mental, family and social, financial. For a meaningful and successful life, we should set goals in all of these areas.
For example, my personal goal is be a bestselling author, a motivational speaker, and coach. My professional goal is to take our company to a leadership position in the field of mixing equipment in India and across the world. My spiritual goal is to remain calm and My Goals – 2015 at all times; my physical goal to maintain health and fitness levels so that I can run the marathon at any given time;, my social goal is to touch, move and inspire all those who look up to me and to make a positive difference to their lives by sharing my blessings. To be honest, my reason for me sharing this with you today is to work towards achieving my personal and social goals.
Written goals are the seedbeds of accomplishment. The important thing while setting goals is that you need to write them, because writing your goals forces you to crystallize and clarify your thinking. It is said that the human mind has more than 60,000 thoughts each days. Writing down the thoughts which matter, helps you focus on what is necessary and keeps you on course. Written goals form the basis of measuring progress. Written goals produce motivation. Written goals form the basis of an action plan. Above all, written goals stimulate visualization.
Goals to me are SMART dreams. By SMART, we me Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Time Bound. A goal has be specific, it has to be clearly defined. A goal has to be quantifiable – something that can be measured, it has to be achievable and attainable within a lifetime, it has to be realistic – something that can be experienced in reality. Above all, the goal is a dream with a deadline for achievement. It is time bound.
How then do you set goals and write them? When you begin to set goals, write down your dream list. A dream list will have everything that you wanted to have – a loving family, a big house, promotion at work, more money; a dream list will have everything you would like to do – grow you business to the next level, enjoy a vacation at your favorite destination. Just write down everything that you would like to have and do, as if there are no limitations at all.
Once you have written your dream list, you need to write them down as your SMART goals.
For example, my dream is to have a BMW car. But my SMART goal is “To drive my own BMW, 5 Series, White Color, by December 22, 2017”. Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Time Bound.
I am often asked, “If it was so easy, why don’t most people achieve their goals?”
The answer to this question is explained in my favorite quote, by Paul Meyer, “Whatever you vividly imagine, ardently desire, sincerely believe and enthusiastically act up on must inevitably come to pass.”
The starting point of attainment of all goals is having an ardent desire. Your desire for the goal must be so intense that it will energize you to take action. It will give you the inner strength and drive to overcome any obstacle that lies between you and your goal.
The greatest obstacle that lies between you and your goals, is your lack of self belief. For achieving your goals, you need to believe in yourself and in your abilities. To overcome the negative thoughts and emotions that may crop in, you need to take complete responsibility for your situation. Once you accept total responsibility for your life, there are no limits on what you can be, do or have. Every step that your take with responsibility towards your goals builds your belief that you can set and achieve even bigger goals in the future.
Often people set goals, but don’t achieve them. This is because they don’t take the action required to achieve to goals. The most important aspect of achieving your goals is taking action, with enthusiasm. Having set your goals, you need to create an action plan for their achievement. You need to prioritize your goals, make a list of all tasks that have to be completed for accomplishing the goal, schedule time and set deadlines, create measures and standards to track progress, build the competency and skills required for achieving the goals, exercise self-discipline, identify obstacles and their possible solutions, identify people, groups and organizations who can help you in achieving your goals. Work hard to achieve your goals. There is no substitute to hard work. Action with Passion, Patience and Persistence is the key to achieving your goals.
My personal experience is that when you are absolutely clear about your goal, you do not even need to know where and how to achieve it. By simply deciding what you want, you will begin to get attracted towards your goal and your goal begins to move towards you.
Set Goals and take charge of your life. I’ll be happy to have achieved my goal through your’s.
God Bless
As I woke up this morning, the first thing I learned was about my friend Parvinder Singh, meeting with an accident yesterday, on his birthday, 18th July. We are all so happy for Parvinder that he was unhurt and is doing fine.
God has been kind. If not …
One would recall the true life story, I shared about my dear friend, Dr. Mitesh Shah. Mitesh missed out on our “Fab Four – Sachin, Amit, Mitesh , Jayesh” trip to Tirupati in 2009, to seek blessings from the Lord for our new borns. His father-in-law was diagnosed with a cardiac problem and Mitesh dropped out from the trip just an hour before our departure from Mumbai. A day later, exactly at the time when the three of us were at the Tirupati temple, Mitesh was admitted to a cardiac hospital – just in time to be taken care of.
God has been kind. If not …
Not many of my friends know, that at the age of 9 when I was in Class IV, I was diagnosed with a brain tuberculosis. The prayers, support and good wishes from family, friends, well wishers and doctors helped me recover in quick time. Dr. Ashok Hazari, our close relative and family doctor has been supporting the family right throughout the difficult times.
God has been kind. If not ….
I would like to conclude by sharing what could have possibly been life’s greatest regret. On 23rd May, 2015, Maahir and Shourya were playing in the building complex till well past 11 in the night. As always, either we would get them or someone would drop them home. It was not to happen that night. At around 11:30, I had a vision that Shourya has badly hurt himself . Seconds later, Maahir rushed into the house with Shourya’s bleeding and roughed up right hand. Shourya’s hand was trapped in the collapsible door of the moving lift causing a severe crushing injury – pulled off just in time.
It’s been a difficult two months for our six year old, with the many visits to Amit’s hospital – the first one within minutes of the incident, well past mid-night. Every time Amit opened the bandaged right hand for the painful medical processes, we would pray for things being fine.
Under the watchful eyes of my buddy, Shourya Shourya’s right hand is recovering. He hasn’t missed his school for a single day – and has been writing with his left hand ever since the accident. Soon, he will be able to write with his right hand again. Our little, delicate darling Shourya has lived up to his name which means Braveheart.
God has been kind. If not ….
PS – Our close family friends, two brothers, owned a popular fast food restaurant. Life presented them with many challenges, but with their ever positive and “never say die approach”, they did well for their families, inspite of critical heath issues. While the elder one (50) was on dialysis for the last 7 years, the younger one (47) too had to undergo the procedure on alternate days for the last 2 years. Both brothers had come to terms with life – going about their work, family and social responsibilities like all of us do. In January, the younger brother passed away within a month of a brief spout of ill-health. The elder brother had just begun to plan for the two families, only to be gone – 21 days later, after he developed some complications during the dialysis process.
