Raksha Bandhan: A Call to Protect Beyond the Ritual

On this Raksha Bandhan, as we honor the bond of protection and love, let us reflect on the deep responsibility we hold as a society to ensure the safety of our women and girls. The recent heartbreaking incident in Calcutta, where a doctor’s life was tragically lost following an act of physical abuse and violence, reminds us of the vulnerabilities women face, even in places where they should feel secure.

This Raksha Bandhan, let’s go beyond tradition and make a collective vow to create a safer environment for every woman and girl in our country. Let our actions reflect a true commitment to their safety, dignity, and well-being.

When a friend makes a mistake…

“When a friend makes a mistake, the friend remains a friend, the mistake remains a mistake”

– Shimon Peres

The statement by Shimon Peres, “When a friend makes a mistake, the friend remains a friend, the mistake remains a mistake,” recently got me into a pensive mood. It encapsulates a profound understanding of human relationships and the nature of friendship, emphasizing the importance of distinguishing between a person’s actions and their intrinsic value as a friend.

Looking back at my own experience, I recall how my friends—those who I would swear by—reacted very differently when I made a mistake. Some of my closest friends formed strong opinions about the situation, opinions that were influenced not just by their own perspectives but also by their spouses. This created an undercurrent of tension within our group of close friends, resulting in invisible factions. Invitations to get-togethers became selective, and it was clear that the dynamics had shifted.

Despite the divisions, there were friends who chose not to let this affect our friendship. There were also those who never mentioned anything about the matter to their spouses. They never judged me and instead offered sound advice while listening patiently to me and my challenges. They realized that I needed help, understanding, and most of all, a friend who would stand by me no matter what. These friends embodied the essence of Peres’ quote, as they separated my mistake from my worth as a friend.

Others advised me to keep calm and allow time for things to settle down, assuring me that everything would be fine in the end. Their approach reflected a deep understanding of the transient nature of mistakes, which each one us is vulnerable to, and the importance of giving time for healing and resolution. These friends did not form strong opinions but provided a steady presence, which was very reassuring during a difficult time.

As I reflect on these events now, with the mistake firmly in the past, I often ponder why some friends chose to react the way they did and in my view continue to do so. I have come to understand that every friendship has its dynamics, and people react differently based on their values, experiences, and external influences.

In conclusion, Shimon Peres’ quote serves as a poignant reminder that true friendship transcends mistakes. It encourages us to value our friends for who they are, rather than judging them solely based on their actions.I am grateful for those who stood by me, offering sound advice and non-judgmental support—they truly embody the spirit of friendship. As of others, they will always remain “my friends”.

What is the story of this site – Life is Beautiful ?

Hi Jayesh,
This site has several interesting posts by you that were worth reading. In addition, I saw that a lot of the blog entries were dated 2009. What is the story of this site ?

Kailash Khandelwal – Business Owner, Astrology Expert, based in Atlanta, USA.

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I took up to serious writing around 2009. It’s then that I created a blog where I shared some personal experiences and learnings. I kept adding up articles whenever I could, but then there was long break from around early 2020 until 2023.

In January 2024, I decided to bring back this blog to life. It’s no longer limited to my experiences, it’s now about sharing the good things that I come across every day – typically books, articles, quotes – learnings that come in all forms.

When I started, the sole objective of writing this blog was to share with my children, Maahir who is turning 18 on 14th February, and Shourya, 14, what I learnt and experienced. It’s also my personal journal, notes to myself and allows me to look back, and at times relearn what may have been forgotten, the greatest beleif being that no matter what, Life is Beautiful.

Mom, Dad, Me, Purvi, Shourya, Maahir

Jayesh Tekchandaney

tekchandaney@gmail.com

12th February, 2024

PS – The colorful and vibrant Life is Beautiful that’s right on top of the page was created by Maahir in 2009, when he was 3 years old and Shourya was just born. It’s been 15 years since the blog was born.

Relationships

Relationships
Relationships heal, Relationships hurt,
Relationships trust, Relationships betray,
Relationships bring success, Relationship cause fall,
Relationships sacrifice, Relationships compromise.
Relationships control, Relationships dictate,
Relationships plead, Relationships persuade,
Relationships threaten, Relationships protect,
Relationships stir emotions, Relationships control state.
Relationships born, Relationships formed,
Relationships chosen, Relationships gone,
Relationships develop, Relationships evolve,
Relationships remain, Relationships fail.
Relationships tested by time,
Relationships tested by situations,
Relationships tested by expectations,
Relationships tested by relationships.
Relationships talk in words, Relationships speak in silence,
Relationships however strong, Relationships are fragile,
Relationships may forgive, Relationships cannot forget,
Relationships may be down, Relationships can rise again.

How To Live & Die – By Khushwant Singh

I’ve often thought about what it is that makes people happy—what one has to do in order to achieve happiness.

1- First and foremost is good health. If you do not enjoy good health, you can never be happy. Any ailment, however trivial, will deduct something from your happiness.
2- Second, a healthy bank balance. It need not run into crores, but it should be enough to provide for comforts, and there should be something to spare for recreation—eating out, going to the movies, travel and holidays in the hills or by the sea. Shortage of money can be demoralising. Living on credit or borrowing is demeaning and lowers one in one’s own eyes.
3- Third, your own home. Rented places can never give you the comfort or security of a home that is yours for keeps. If it has garden space, all the better. Plant your own trees and flowers, see them grow and blossom, and cultivate a sense of kinship with them.
4- Fourth, an understanding companion, be it your spouse or a girlfriend or a best friend. If you have too many misunderstandings, it robs you of your peace of mind. It is better to accept the differences than to be quarrelling all the time.
5- Fifth, stop envying those who have done better than you in life—risen higher, made more money, or earned more fame. Envy can be corroding; avoid comparing yourself with others.
6- Sixth, do not allow people to descend on you for gossip. By the time you get rid of them, you will feel exhausted and poisoned by their gossip-mongering.
7- Seventh, cultivate a hobby or two that will fulfill you—gardening, reading, writing, painting, playing or listening to music. Going to clubs or parties to get free drinks, or to meet celebrities, is a criminal waste of time. It’s important to concentrate on something that keeps you occupied meaningfully.
8- Eighth, every morning and evening devote 20 minutes to meditation or introspection. In the mornings, 10 minutes should be spent in keeping the mind absolutely still, and five listing the things you have to do that day. In the evenings, five minutes should be set aside to keep the mind still and 10 to go over the tasks you had intended to do.
9- Ninth, don’t lose your temper. Try not to be short-tempered, or vengeful. Even when a friend has been rude, just move on.
10- Above all, when the time comes to go, one should go like a Person without any regret or grievance against anyone.

Mother

A young mother set her foot on the path of life. “Is this the long way?” she asked. God replied: “Yes, and the way is hard. And you will be old before you reach the end of it.But the end will be better than the beginning.”

The young mother was happy, but she would not believe that anything could be better than these years. So she played with her little children,gathered flowers for them along the way, bathed them in the natural streams as the sun shone on them. “Nothing will ever be lovelier than this,” she said to God.
Then as the dark stormy night came, her children shook with fear and cold. The mother drew them close and covered them with her mantle, and the children said, “Mother, we are not afraid for you are near, and no harm can come.”
And then morning came, and there was a huge mountain ahead. The children climbed and grew weary. The mother was weary too but at all times she encouraged her children,” A little patience and we will be on top.” So the children climbed, and when they reached the peak they said, “Mother, we would not have done it without you.”
The mother looked at the night sky and as she gazed the stars she thought, “This is a better day than the last, for my children have learned fortitude in the face of hardness. Yesterday I gave them courage. Today, I ‘ ve given them strength.”
And the next day, came angry clouds which darkened the earth. Clouds of war, hate and evil. The children groped and stumbled, and the mother said: “Look up. Lift your eyes to the light.” And the children looked and saw above the clouds an everlasting glory. It guided them beyond the darkness. And that night the Mother said,”This is the best day of all, for I have shown my children God.”
Days went by, weeks passed, and then months and years. The mother grew old, feeble and bent. By then, her children were tall and strong, and walked with courage. When the way was rough, they lifted her, for she was as light as a feather; and at last they came to a hill, and beyond they could see a shining road and golden gates flung wide.
The mother said,”I reached the end of my journey. And now I know the end is better than the beginning, for my children can walk alone, and their children after them.”
Her children said, “You will always walk with us, Mother, even when you have gone through the gates.”
They stood and watched her as she walked alone, and the gates closed after her. And they said: “We cannot see you, but you will always remain with us.”
Your Mother is always with you…. She’s the whisper of the leaves as you walk down the street; she’s the smell of bleach in your freshly laundered socks; she’s the cool hand on your brow when you’re unwell.
Your Mother lives inside your laughter. She’s crystallised in every teardrop. She’s the place you came from, your first home; She’s the map you follow with every step you take. She’s your first love and your first heartbreak.
Nothing can separate you from your mother. Not time, not space… not even God!
– Adapted and edited from an anonymous write up.

Love, Sex And Marraige

This note titled “Love, Sex and Marriage”, is based on the all time classic book “Think and Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill, first published in 1937 . The book is a comprehensive guide to achieving goals, not just in terms of wealth, but in all aspects of life.

A section of the book talks about the emotions of Love, Sex and Marriage. His explaination of love is unparalleled. His articulation of the connect, between the emotions of Love, Romance and Sex are thought provoking. His views on the balances in a marriage are worth a read.

Back in time, when the book was penned, there were only a handful of successful and famous women in the society. Therefore the last part of the note is limited to his study of the lives of successful men. He emphasises upon the powerful influence of the women in a man’s life.

How much of the author’s views hold true in the modern day context is for every reader to decide, based on his or her own experiences.

Love

Love is without question, life’s greatest experience. Memories of love never pass.

“The effect of love endures, because love is spiritual in nature. Even the memories of love are sufficient to lift one to a higher plane of creative effort. Bathe your mind in the beautiful memories of past love. They will soften the influence of present worries, unpleasant realities of life.

Love is whimsical and temperamental. It’s nature is ephermal and transitory. It comes when it pleases, and goes away without warning. Accept and enjoy it while it remains, but spend no time worrying about its departure. Worry will never bring it back.

It’s untrue, that love happens only once. It may come and go many times. No two love experiences will affect in the same way, but there usually is one love experience, which leaves a deeper imprint on the heart.

All love experiences are beneficial, except to the person who becomes resentful and cynical when love makes it’s departure.

The Emotions of Love, Romance and Sex

Love, Romance and Sex are all emotions capable of driving men and women to heights of super achievement.

Love is spiritual, while sex is biological. Emotion of sex is most intense and powerful of all mind stimuli.

When the emotion of love begins to mix itself with the emotion of sex, the result is calmness of Purpose,poise, accuracy of judgment and balance.

When the emotion of romance is added to those of love and sex, the obstructions between the finite mind and Infinite Intelligence are removed. The genius is thus born.

The emotion of love, when mixed with the emotion of sex, softens, modifies, and beautifies the facial expression.

The Balances in a Marriage

Marriages not blessed with eternal affinity of love, properly balanced and proportioned with sex, cannot be happy, and seldom endure.

“Love alone will not bring happiness in marraige, nor will sex alone. When these two beautiful emotions are blended, marraige may bring out a state of mind, closest to the spiritual that one may ever know.”

Who you choose to be with can turn out to be the most important decision of your life. In the modern day context, “fortunate are those whose partners understands the balance between the emotions of love, sex and romance. The making or breaking of any relationship is the consequence of your partner’s understanding or lack of understanding of the emotions of love, sex or romance.

Successful Men, & The Women in their Lives

Men are easily managed by the women of their choice

Napoleon Hill authored Think and Grow Rich in 1937. He presents a point of view, based on how things were then. He states that, “Men who accumulate large fortunes, and attain to heights of power and fame, do so, mainly to satisfy their desire to please women. Take women out of their lives, and great wealth would be useless to most men. It is the inherent desire of man to please woman, which gives woman the power to make of break him.
The woman who understands man’s nature and tactfully caters to it, does not have to fear competition from other women.